Super Freak RIP. At least the man never turned into a bore…
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Meta
Rumor has it – he had a vault; a vault filled with all kinds of wonderful stuff; including concert tapes, film and video, unreleased tracks, alternate tracks, prehistoric tracks, railroad tracks and needle tracks; he had unimaginable stuff in the vault; his family is squabbling at this very moment over just what to do with all this stuff; they are searching for a vaultmeister to help them sort it all out and put it into a marketable condition ->
enter Joe, stage left…
Gail: ..and just where do you think YOU are going?
Joe: Uh, me? What? Going? Well, I, uh, got a better offer for vaultmeisterment from the Super Freak’s family. Actually, I left you my resignation letter on the kitchen table.
Gail: What super freak are you talking about? This is LA, man, be specific.
Joe: I’m not just talking any old corner freak, babe. I’m talkin’ Rick James.
Gail: Rick James? He’s got a vault?
Joe: That’s what they say, and it’s s’posed to be filled with all types of unimaginable shit!
Gail: Where have I heard THAT line of crap before?
Joe: No, No, it’s true. They need a guy like me to sort through it all and milk it’s commercial potential. They are going to start a pre-paid subscription service!
Gail: The only milking that’s gonna get done is from this here vault. It was my idea. They stole it. Dweezil, get those attorneys on the line for me.
Dweez: (in a forlorn, jilted sort of voice) Mom, they are busy suing that bitch Lisa, trying to get my lube back…
Joe: Trying to get your lube back? What is this an Austin Powers sequel? You better watch your back, Dweezil, I hear Mike Myers has a team of attorneys of his own.
Dweez: Nobody understands me…
Ahmet: Did I hear someone say Mike Myers? I’m going to sue that bastard! He stole my bald-headed freak idea and made MY movie out of it. Where’s my kitty?
Joe: Hey, what the fuck? Who shaved my chicken?
Gail: Joe, get that chicken out of my face.
Joe: sorry ’bout that.
Gail: (surfs over to kur.com) That goddamn Bob Again is makin’ fun of us again!
Dweezil: Nobody understands me…
Gail: Get my lawyers on the phone – NOW!
Dweez: I want my lube…
Moon: …lube on the newts we got…
Gail: Yeah…Pass the chips, please Dweez…
Dweez: Get your own chips. I’m on the phone with the attorneys. What’s all this shit about window shopping for diamonds?Why must I always be the subject of public ridicule? Nobody understands me…
Dweez: I need some cash.Why won’t anybody buy that fucking guitar so I can afford to go to a restaurant without whoring myself out to the Food Channel?
Diva: Wanna buy a cap?
A Dozen Grey Attorneys: Your account has been turned over to our collection agency. You’ll have to square things with them before we talk again.
Gail:(still surfing kur.com)Goddammitallanyway!
That knowitall, Bob Again, is back at it again today! I thought that little fucker must have died, or something. Put a trace on that fucker. I know an attorney in Minnesota who will sue his ass pronto pro bono!!
Dweez: Hang on a second. I’ve got dibs on any pro bono work that gets done.
Joe: (walking out door with Heart master tapes under arm) Hey, in case any of you give a shit, I’m out of here. Super Freaky! Cra-Zee on YOU!!
Where do I send my hundred clams?