Ozzie Osbourne’s writing a musical about Rasputin:
“It’s a major achievement for me, because I’ve always wanted to do it,” said Osbourne. “He’s like the original rock star, you know? I said to myself, ‘What better thing to write about?'”
Update: the guardian obviously bleeped out certain words in the above statement. Let us rephrase:
“It’s a fuckin’ major achievement for me, because I’ve always fuckin’ wanted to do it,” said Osbourne. “He’s like the fuckin’ original fuckin’ rock star, you know, you fuck? Bollocks! I fuckin’ said to me fuckin’ self, ‘What fuckin’ better thing to fuckin’ write about?’ Fuck! Could you squeeze my fuckin’ untalented daughter in your bleedin’ fuckin’ article?”