Gunter Van Assche: Ignoramus Pars Pro Toto

Here at Barry Towers we subscribe to De Morgen, a “quality newspaper”, or so the ads say. To be fair: it is a good newspaper, but reading the review of ZPZ Brussels today written by one Gunter Van Assche, I felt a “Blow It Out Your Ass, Newspaper Person” was in order.

The article, in all its Flemish glory (click to enlarge):

Shall we begin? Please follow your guide…

As an amuse-gueule there was a performance from 1973. Among other things, Frank played “Dental Floss”, a pars pro toto of what you can expect from Zappa.

You probably meant “Montana” Gunter but then, you didn’t really bother to check the discography, did you? “Amuse gueule” and “pars pro toto” sounds awesome though. Didja get any onya?

Music that is as brilliant as it is hilarious, but just as often allows itself to be muffled by incredibly irritating passages. Dweezil’s performance offered more of the same, without the humor of his father.

Okay, Gunter, so you expected Dweezil to come up with the type of wit that was typical of Frank. Too bad it was all about the music, and not the funny intermezzi — but wait! You hate the “incredibly irritating passages”! Just what is it you want, Gunter Van Assche, you hip clueless person you?

We were a lot less wild about Napoleon Murphy Brock, once Frank’s right hand.

Frank, dear Gunter, never had any right hands apart from his own. NMB was an employee, as was every other single member of every other single line-up FZ ever played with. If you would have taken some time to consult the right resources, you would know about this. Pars Pro Toto though!

Too bad there was not a single bit of emotion to be observed. […] Brock has a superb voice but put so much soul into Frank’s phrasing, your toes started to curl faster than shaved wood.

Hey, I know some Latin too! How’s this: contradictio in terminis!

Where and when: Vorst Nationaal, 29 May

It was May 30, Gunter.
Why don’t you go and listen to some Toto. Their 80s hit-single “Africa” should appeal to your musical taste.

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9 Responses to Gunter Van Assche: Ignoramus Pars Pro Toto

  1. Gunter says:

    sorry…I had my calendar set to the wrong year. I am traveling to Chicago to see the show at the Auditorium Theater – a much nicer sounding venue. If they turn down the volume a tad, it might be a better show. If so, I will print an addendum to the above review.

  2. xorg says:

    Don’t worry about it, Barry. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve read a review of a concert/film/play which I’ve seen and wondered if the critic was actually at the same performance as me. Most of these guys just like to sound off and make themselves seem clever.

    For example, The Grand Wazoo gig in London 1972 was reviewed by Richard Williams ( I think) for ‘The Times’ and he completely missed the point. He said FZ’s music was ‘inconsequential’. He also said the crowd didn’t like it – but I saw and heard thousands of people yelling for more! Ho Hum.

  3. scott says:

    Maybe Dweezil should have made arrangements for some awesome pyrotechnics. Then he might have
    done the rock guitar player dance
    all over the stage and made menacing
    faces while the rockets behind him ignited
    the wood joists in the ceiling, causing
    the audience to whoop and cheer as they
    were roasted medium-well.

    That alone might have resurrected
    Richie Blackmore’s career, not to mention the
    lawsuits!!!!

  4. gabe says:

    oh, my, how intellectual… to counteract that, how about a bit of Frank reading “the talking asshole” ?
    on http://www.ubu.com/sound/zappa.html

    yeah, and check ubu.com, amazing site!

    and by the way, NAPOLEON RULES!!!

  5. gabe says:

    ps… you gotta click on the little mp3 logo on top right!
    have fun!

  6. mcnastie says:

    hey gabe, thanks for the link. that’s some cool shit! i saw a photo from this reading & was always curious as to how it came off – it’s perfect! though it is a little strange hearing f.z. do a monologue without a background vamp. too bad he couldn’t do the whole thing as a book-on-tape…it would be way more listenable than it is readable. storytime with f.z. and w.s.b.!

  7. jeroen says:

    I also love it when he says that “nowadays the multi-instrumentalist (NMB) also takes on the singing role”.

    Right. He never sang 30 years ago, not even on “Dental Floss”, right?

  8. gabe says:

    glad you enjoyed it mcnastie, again, do check ubu.com, it’s chockful of stuff– william burroughs’ and many others— how about this, for one… the present composer refuses to die!:
    http://ubu.wfmu.org/video/Varese-Edgard-and-Le-Corbusier_Poeme-Electronique_1958.mpg

  9. gabe says:

    yup, me again
    you must click on the little speaker symbol
    and you WILL LAUGH, i assure you
    http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/pars+pro+toto

Comments are closed.