It figures.
I go on holiday for a week, and stuff happens at the ZFT.
GZ: “Not a hunch, not a rumor. We have announced a DVD-Audio release. It is scheduled for a street date of 14 September on DTS label. It is surround sound and is made up of tracks originally mixed/recorded by FZ during the 70’s. It is essentially an audio documentary of ideas by FZ about quad and 4 channel mixes and multichannel recordings. Dweezil tweezed these items into a full on program now entitled QuAUDIOPHILIAc. Obviously, it will not translate on ordinary radio.” Can you say “petite wazoo“?
(artwork via FrenchPowered)
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Meta
Bob Again: Can you say Guacamoliac?
No details? No songlist? Not a word? Excellent PR!…
Hey why spend money on PR when ZFT has sites like yours and mine to spread the (not-so-much) news – good PR indeed…
Dweez: Quadio-what? What’s going on here Gail? There isn’t anything ready to release. Is this another one of your cruddy attempts to drum up some chatter about the mythical contents of our musty basement? How are we going to get something out by September 14??
Gail: Relax, pinhead… Did I say what YEAR? No, of course I didn’t say what year. Did I ever say July of what year there would be a petit wazoo out break? Of course I didn’t.
Dweez: Oh, I get it. This is your idea of conceptual continuity. Keep floating vague promises to release non-exitent stuff on imprecisely defined dates – never really committing to anything. Those dopey fans Dad catered to will chat it up and Diva can sell a few caps.
Gail: It’s hard for me to believe, but I think you are finally starting to get it.
Ahmet (rubbing lube on bald dome): Gail, I hate to tell you this. amazon.co.jp is listing the release date as September 14 of THIS year! That’s only a few short weeks away.
Gail: Did I say what YEAR? Did anyone hear ME say this YEAR? Whatever it says at amazon.co.jp is that fucking Bezo-san’s problem. He’s got lawyers. Let them handle it.
Dweez: HEY!! Where’d you get that LUBE??
Gail: (surfing kur.com)Dweezil, get those dozen grey attorneys on the phone for me. I’m sueing Barry’s ass! I promised him the exclusive on this QuAUDIOPHILIAc project on the condition he would put a muzzle on that twerp, Bob Again. He hasn’t held up his side of the deal. Bob Again is at it AGAIN! I want Bob muzzled and I want Barry’s ass fried!
Dweez: Chill out, Mama. If you do either of those things you are promoting censorship. Frank has a few fans out there who are very sensitive when it comes to muzzles and such things interfering with a person’s right to free speech.
Gail: Oh give me break with that pompous attitude, young man. Do you really believe your father gave a rat’s ass about any of that crap? That whole free speech thing was just another one of his whacky marketing ploys.
Dweez: You are one twisted and cynical old broad, aren’t you? I think Frank was a bit more sincere than that.
Gail: Why do you think he hired all those attorneys?
Dweez: I always thought it was to clean up after all the messes YOU got us into. Forget about Bob Again. He’s just some lonely guy, sitting in front of a borrowed computer, trying to finish an assignment for his correspondence school creative writing class. Let it be.
Gail: Let it be? Are you quoting some tired Beatles lyric? Let it be? Where’d that lame-o attitude get those dopes from Liverpool? Nothing but a bunch of legal bills…
Dweez: Your point being?
Gail: Can you say, “GuACAMOLIAc“?
I don’t get it. Either my idea of FZ’s legacy is totally wrong or the ZFT’s idea is. I esteem a genius composer who was a brilliant, original guitar player. Therefore I’d rather a release that highlighted one or both of those, such as TranceFusion or Dance Me This. What do we get? An audio documentary. Sure Frank had an ahead of time approach to audio technology and mixing, but it was the MUSIC which was and is the best.
Harumph. The ZFT seem to have a different agenda to FZ’s ‘fans’ but then so did FZ a lot of the time; e.g. the crap remixes of WOIIFTM, Ruben & The Jets and the added twaddle on the Uncle Meat CD. And as a founding member of The Awkward Squad he never explained himself either. What I object to is the ZFT (or any other record company)putting out stuff that means I would have to buy a new hi-fi system in order to hear it ‘properly’. Bollocks; if the music is good enough you don’t need these surround sound doodads. I can whistle Uncle Meat (main title theme) and enjoy it just the same!
Hi FI Guy: Wanna buy some speakers, Bob?
Bob: Got some. Thanks.
Gail: We have PayPal.
Bob: So much for computer collectors, eh Gail?
Gail: Come on, Bob. That’s so seventies.
Bob: …just like quad.
Gail: Well, yes, that’s right. It’s a new century. Now we can do the same thing with FIVE speakers!
Dweez: five-five-FIVE!
Gail: …that makes fifteen!
Dweez: (under breath) I didn’t think you’d get it…
Knock, Knock!
Pete: Who’s there?
Nice Policeman (NP): Scotland
Pete: Scotland who?
NP: Scotland Yard. Open the door, or we’ll bash it in!
Pete: What? What’s going on?
NP: Open the door you lousy pervert! We’re on to you!
Pete: On to me? Why, what could be the problem? (scrambles to delete internet history and temporary files) I’m busy answering email to me mum.
NP: You’re under arrest for downloading child pornography.
Pete: Child pornography? It’s just part of my research. Honest! I was doing a google search on the newly announced, soon to be released some year, Frank Zappa quality-audio-docu-phono-philia dvd-a called QuAUDIOPHILIAc. Google asked me if I meant to search for “paedophiliac”. I didn’t know what it meant. Really! Ya gotta believe me! I was shocked to see those photos. It was all so innocent. My life has been ruined.
NP: Tell it to the judge. I’ve got children of my own, you know. If it were up to me, sick-os like you would be washed down the Thames with the rest of the garbage.
Pete: Mind if I bring my iPod with me? I’ve just downloaded the latest re-issue, with bonus tracks, of the classic Who album, Qudrophenia.
NP: QuADROPHENIa? Isn’t that the new Zappa release? I’m confused.
Pete: You’re confused. Sometimes I think I’m a woman. No one understands me…
Let’s hear it for Bob Again !!!
A very entertaining fellow !
Gail: I wish Joe had taken that chicken with him when he left. It seems to have a hyper-excretion problem.
Tracklisting:
Naval Aviation in Art?; Lumpy Gravy; Rollo; Drooling Midrange Accountants on Easter Hay; Wild Love; Ship Ahoy; Chunga Basement; Venusion Time Bandits;
Waka/Jawaka; Basement Music #2
Release date: 27.09.2004
Dweez: Do I detect some slippage? It gots’ta da lube…
HELLO
I am a french journalist for Le Monde daily paper. I received an annoucement about Quaudiophilac WITH a tracklisting from someone who will probably do the promotion of the album in France.
Sylvain
Artist: Frank Zappa
Release Date: 27th September 2004
Title: QuAUDIOPHILIAc
• Never before released music of Frank Zappa.
• We mean it, new material and mixes the public has never heard!
• And if that’s not enough, mixed in Quadrophonic Surround by Frank himself.
• Includes a video interview with Frank.
• Aggressively seeking Grammy nomination for this release.
• Supervision of the project by Dweezil Zappa and Joe Travers
• DVD-A title includes exclusive surround mixes created by the artist
• DVD-A surround & stereo, plus DTS for DVD-Video players.
Format: DVDA
Genre: Rock
Label: DTS Entertainment
Tracklisting: Naval Aviation in Art?; Lumpy Gravy; Rollo; Drooling Midrange Accountants on Easter Hay; Wild Love; Ship Ahoy; Chunga Basement; Venusion Time Bandits; Waka/Jawaka; Basement Music #2
Frank Zappa famously remixed much of his early 1970’s material Quadrophonically, with the usual breathtaking sonic quality that he became world-famous for. QuAUDIOPHILIAc is the Holy Grail from these sessions for Zappa fans and completists around the world, presenting previously unreleased tracks alongside re-mixed and re-edited material from the huge FZ back-catalogue, from Lumpy Gravy and Chunga’s Revenge to Sheik Yerbouti, Joe’s Garage and Shut Up ‘N’ Play Yer Guitar – all in spectacular Quadrophonic Surround!