When depressed about where this increasingly fucked up world is headed, follow these steps:
1) Purchase this.
2) Optionally purchase this.
3) Shake off nasty taste of consumerist behaviour.
4) Your mantra: “Whatever gets me through the night”.
5) Turn off computer.
6) No really. Turn off computer. Trust me.
7) Two words: Vandelay Industries.
8) Rejoice!
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Meta
Colon: Conde?
Conde: Yes…
Colon: Conde Creamcheese?
Conde: Yes…
Colon: This is the voice of your conscience baby, uh . . . I just want to check one thing out with ya, you don’t mind, do ya?
Conde: What?
Colon: Conde Creamcheese, honey, what’s got into ya?