Declaration of Revocation by John Cleese:
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call ‘French fries’ are not real chips. Fries aren’t even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
John Cleese is my hero. (via presurfer)
I do not believe a sane* person would drink warm, flat beer (or lager, whatever). I believe that the British only serve it that way to American tourists to annoy us and possibly as some sort of sick revenge for the Boston tea party and drinking ice tea. *(This is assuming that the Brits are sane. That has yet to be verified.)
Eat Shit, you, you,… you,…englishman! I was gonna say asshole or piece of shit, but being called an englishman is far worse. English beer sucks, as does most everything else from the island of the apes. As far as revocation goes, come and get it if you’re interested, but come big or don’t expect to leave under your own power.
No sense of irony, these yanks…
John Cleese is a real genius. Along with making fun of the US he is also making fun of the UK… Scratching the French in passing…
Multi-level humour (note the U)…
But, I believe it is too much to ask to an American to understand this…
Some Americans can grasp multi-level humor… (Except U, maybe)
There’s also a smattering of them that understand Beer, tho’ granted the ratio is much smaller.
The proper drinking temperature depends on the style of beer. An ice-cold Guiness is a crime against nature…
It is unfortunate that so many Americans seem to prefer the watery swill passed off as Pilsner here; which has to be drunk quite frigid, or the flaws in the brewing process become too apparent.
Thankfully, the micro-brew movement here has established that there’s more to beer than what the “majors” pretend (even the majors have started to produce quality beer once again, yet under a guise so as not to confuse the lemmings).
Sorry to prattle on so… But I worship at the lauter tun.
I love John Cleese. I love all the Pythons.
There is much to be said about his opinions
regarding Americans, most of it I share with him. Still, he can kiss my ass. I’LL do the nitpicking, if you don’t mind. Maybe Mr. Cleese won’t mind if I stay in one of his estates or manors or whateverthefuck they call it on BEAT ISLAND. Truly INEDIBLE food (licking the inside of a toilet has more actual flavor than British food), 1.5 in 10 women is worth looking at, and a MONARCHY?
Still, I’d give him a big kiss if I met him.
Don’t forget that Cleese has come into close contact with Americans, having married one or two of them (Connie Booth defitely is, but I can’t actually remember if a subsequent spouse is also).
But if you want to see Cleese serve it to the Americans, check him out as the Grim Reaper, tellling Terry Gilliam off towards the end of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life:
“You Americans, you talk and you talk and you say, ‘I just want to say this…’; ‘Let me tell you something…’ Well you’re dead now, so shut up!”