Veggie Tales Corporation, the children’s toys company, has unscrupulously released “Larry, The Battery Powered Cucumber”. “Christian experts believe that, like Mr. Potato Head, this could be yet another attempt by liberals to force their evil “tolerance” into True Christian homes.” A link is provided to purchase & burn the, let’s say, “toy”. If you are a true believer, give a hand to get rid of the evilish filth!
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Meta
meanwhile…yes, it’s true. My Heart has been broken ever since Joe Travers left me for guy in a group. His last words to me were, “I froze, trapped like a deer in headlights, and my palms began to sweat. The longer I stared at the face of this Angelic man, the more my young brain cells melted, mutated, and died. Forever erased from my mind was the images of the ideal man that had been impressed upon me since my birth in the early 1960’s. It was at that moment Punky Meadows became the ideal male role model.”
Oh, Bob…Now i understand…
Another inocent victim caught by those pityless vaultmeisters, they are all the same…But you will overcome, i’m sure…maybe finding a self-aid group, or starting your own at Yahoogroups (imagine: a 2654 members e-mails group called Latest Victims of Vaultmeisters, it could be dynamite!) You are still young, and that cute shiny hairdo, and the pouting rictus…Come on, now, give us a smile…
Remember broken hearts are for assholes
So, I’m cruising the strip in my late model Toyota Vendetta when I spot this groovy looking guy with headphones placed carefully over his head so as not to mess up his perfect hair (I think it’s a toup). Yes, it’s none other than Punky Meadows. Do you know what he’s listening to? Why, it’s a pre-release copies of “FZ Downunder” (details to be provided at a later date).
If this is some relief for you: i’ve been told Punky seduced some other vaultmeisters before (as well as cute drummers), such as Liberace’s and Ricky Martin’s, in order to get copies of yet unreleased treasures from the vaults. This, i’m telling you for you to realize: it’s not something wrong with you, Bob. It’s not your breath or something…Come on, raise high that self-esteem! I think Joe will recover his mind and get back to you soon.
I’ll look for further details in your “FZ Downunder” sighting…
Oddly enough, my wife calls her electric cucumber Larry also! She has had hers far longer than the “Veggie Tales” operation has existed…
I wonder if there’s some kind of copyright infringement here?
She also has en electric daikon she calls “oki-chan”, which she prefers over Larry.
SOFA
hahahahaha…! Electric daikons are well know for being the bests in the art of speech, and they are bilingual…I can understand her if the daikon, in addition, dance and sing like Larry. Cooking may be so boring otherwise :-)
I don’t know. I prefer my electric cucumbers to come in a more natural color. Also to be quieter.